The Marvelous Focus of the Mind

I sat at my desk for a week. Like remote travelers to a foreign region, I found the unknown road leading into my body of experience. I had a goal: Craft a non-fiction proposal by the end of the week. Unrealistic as it may sound, I actually complete all of the necessary elements of the proposal. Most of the work was done for a New York agent that asks of all writers to submit a query letter, synopsis, biography, and a three chapter preview. In my case, I had to create everything from scratch. Late Sunday night, I found myself showing my work to my family, a demographic that consists of taste akin to most of modern pop culture, and got a response that what I had done was created something a wee-bit too academic. Yikes! I was hoping to create something entertaining that also provided a good lesson but it seems I missed my mark.

The mind can focus on a goal and work to achieve it. I had made my goal but I've been exhausted by the sheer creative force I had to exert in order to get it done. I pushed everything aside. I stopped eating, playing with the dog, going to the gym, talking to friends, and practically brushing my hair for the last week in order to get my non-fiction proposal sent out and off my shoulders.

My sister was the one kind enough to remark that perhaps its best to not push things and blow my chance. It reminded me of an studio manager that would creep up behind me as I worked to tell me: "Sometimes you have to slow down in order to go fast." His voice is consistently creeping up like he did that day and his words have never ceased to echo in the canyons, rivers, and mountains of my interior landscape.

Buddha meditates thoughtful somewhere I have always wanted to be. I don't know where this image is from or what land it rests in. But, I'm comforted knowing that a wondrous place exists like this. A place where life slows down and the rush of life isn't beckoning at your back reminding you that there will never be enough time to do all the things that you want to do.

Achieve focus within the mind and the serenity shall follow. Whoever said that is a liar. I've got nothing but re-writes ahead of me.

Hunting for an Agent

I've switched gears this week to my non-fiction book query letter & proposal. It's heavy on the design end so its a fine break from the world of fiction. It seems like I'm in the midst of making minor changes to the project each day. Since I've learned that the freelance writing life is 25% writing and 75% marketing, I have been spending time searching for agent. Its a tedious affair of browsing the Writer's Market Online & pulling out recommendations from non-fiction authors that I adore. Tedious & still a bit tiresome when you read tid-bits from the agencies like "ADVICE: Remember you are trying to sell your work, and it should be in its best condition" or "ADVICE: Be professional and be patient." Does it always have to be all work & no play? I want an agency of style & aspiration, not dowdy advice that puts me to sleep. It must be bad being a agent, young or not, reading lots of letters that are probably not worth anybodies time. Except, my letter, of course, it'll hit them like a Tab Energy Drink.

First Draft of Novel Complete!

Hand written in two moleskine notebooks, I have finished my newest novel at 330 pages.

Q & A

Where have the Notebooks have been?
The notebooks have been with through two jobs (design firm & the other big money ticket job-don't ask-I'm not telling you where t I strip-joking, alright!). The black moleskine notebooks played a significant role as I rode the Orange Country Metro & Transit line (majority of pages written on the 7:00am train to San Juan Capistrano). Actually, the notebooks traveled with me where I went. I meant to finish the book at the start of February but illness kept me from thinking clearly (I'm not Marcel Proust).

Where happens to the Notebooks now?
As soon as I complete the first draft on my computer, I'm burning the hand written notebooks. There will never be a reason to have any one witness my madness first hand.

Hey, what's the novel about?
I'll tell you when I'm done.

What are you going to do next?
The second draft will be more akin to a first draft. When I finished the book today, I hit an important psychological milestone: The first draft. Like finishing my first novel (unpublished and hidden in a storage unit), I felt ecstatic about just completing the novel. Today, however, I feel the burden of this novel and its work ahead of me. I can visualize the book complete and I understand the work that needs to be done to get it to the tier of writing that I expect of myself. First thing on the list of what I'm doing next so to pray for the patience and the stamina that I'll need to complete a true working draft.

In conjunction to finishing the next draft, I am drafting the query letter for the book. It provides a great means of focusing the work.



Okay, I'm taking a night off to watch a movie. I hope its good.

Letter to the Editor..

I placed the precious pages on the table and took a photo of what it is that I accomplished today. By some standards, not much, but to me, I hit a milestone by actually sending my work to the editor's desk of a local magazine. It was quite simple and I thought of the manner in which a child builds monsters in the dark closet of her bedroom. For too long, I've sat inside a still room locked by my own doing. I lament the time I've wasted like Francis Parkmen creating maladies of no worth or purpose. The writer's struggle is such a personal duel with the inner working of history, personal experience, and courage. I almost felt the Archangel Michel himself tap my shoulders to say, It's not that bad, just wait for a bit of reject. I can hear my own inner voice struggle to tell my consciousness that I have many more small child-like steps in the road ahead. I've found my fighting stance and a small saber sword so that I will fight myself from locked rooms and destroy my monsters.

Courage is not the lack of fear but the ability to face it."
---- Lt. John B. Putnam Jr. (1921-1944)